This may be my last journal entry... I will be leaving DA shortly so that I dont fuck anything up... again.

To those of you whom I have hurt or harmed in any way. All I can do is apologize. I did what I did, it's too late to take it back, and i'm sorry. I guess I never expected this to happen. Hurting someone in an attempt to help someone else. Where boundaries are tested, as is our trust for one another. Yet when all around you begins to fade, when all you held onto disappears, when all you believed in burns at the stake. All because of a stupid mistake. Then you realize how fragile we are. As humans, as people, as friends, as aquaintances, or as lovers. You find how easy it is, to bring down a foundation with but a single word. I have learned these things, yet a moment too late. If anyone out there no longer wishes to speak with me, then I respect that. But I would like a sign. A notice that tells me what you want. So I dont fuck up yet again. For those of you who wish to forgive me, I appreciate it. But it is not something I will feel good about. The weight of what I have done will keep me down for as long as I continue to live, which at this point may or may not be too long.

Love is a fragile box, inside it a bomb, a beer, a kiss, or any combination of the three. When one receives all three in a single fell swoop you realize how worthless you have become. so, in a nutshell, I am but a worthless soul cursed to walk the earth for as long as my legs will hold me up, as long as my heart will continue to beat, and as long as my mind stays on the line. I loved and was loved... but now it is gone, because I fucked up. Dont make the mistake I did, dont be a shell, dont reduce yourself to what I have become.

I hate being hated by the ones I love. Especially when it's someone who I wished to remain with, to live with, and hopefully, to love with. But I know now that my actions caused a city to burn, in the name of what I strived not to be.

I apologize to you all, and to whom it matters most.... you know who you are...
Farewell friends....
It was fun while it lasted....
Until I found myself alone...
I love you all...
Christopher Michael Allsopp
"Another corpse for the pile..."